July 08, 2002 - 2:40 PM
Recently Received Collab.
Letter for July: "too much information".
Dear Ren,
It's me, your father. And look, I'm not even writing in print this time. There's just a few things I wanted to let you know. A few truths I've been keeping from you. This is all stuff I think you should know now that you're an adult. Remember, Ren, you're not that twelve year old anymore who clung to me like a wet rag with hopes of seeing me return. I can't say that I am sorry for even telling you that I would come back. I knew then and there that I wouldn't have. You should have known that then. Frankly, I think you were stupid for hanging on for that year. But you're old enough to handle the truth now, and I no longer think that it's too much information for you to handle.
I want to tell you how I met Her. It wasn't the dire situation I told you it was that day when we were sitting in the Tavern of Kryal Kastle. She was not suicidal, nor had She been attacked and raped earlier that year in her own home. It's just that Daddy was horny, and your mother, well your mother is not exactly a good looker anymore. She used to be. But having you and your sister... Well, she was never really always thin. I loved your mother, but we just didn't have common interests or goals. It was natural for my eyes to start wandering to other women - women who suited me more.
I found it amusing that she believed me when I said I was interested in playing pool with Andy. I laughed when I opened the wrapping on that present and found a brand new pool cue there. You mother was always so gullable. It was a good plan though, and one that she never questioned. Andy even backed me up once or twice.
I met Her at a building I was posted at. You know, being a security officer was handy. You met lots of women that way. Late at night, the nightshift workers would always want to be escorted to their cars, so you'd build up a rapport with them all. Well, She just sort of stuck, and we ended up seeing each other more and more often. I'd swap my shifts so I could see Her without your mother thinking anything was wrong, and with me sleeping during the day, well, you know that I would punish you if you tried to wake me up when I was getting that all important sleep so I could provide for you and your sister.
She seemed to have a conscience but wouldn't let me tell you about Her yet. Then I had that arguement with your mother, as you know. Yes, I saw you staring out your bedroom window towards the river, wishing you could drown yourself to get away from the screaming and then the sound of your mother crying. I kinda felt that way myself. I saw the tears, Ren, but I had to get out of that house and away from your mother.
I went to Her house. She forced me to come back at tell you something, anything to allay your fears of the inevitable. So I told you I'd come back. It might take a week, a month, maybe a year, but I would come back. I just needed time for me.
I can't believe you honestly thought Her car belonged to a friend from my work. It was Hers. She let me drive it around. It was a snazzy little thing, wasn't it. I am still pissed off that you threw up in it that day we travelled to Lorne - even though I could see the odd sense of satisfaction alight your eyes when I finally told you that it was Her car.
Hell, the only reason why I told you is because Tara's mother told me off for not telling you the truth. Oh, I forgot, you didn't know about J, did you? Yeah, your old dad cracked on to her as well. Almost had her, but her ex husband came back and ruined that for me. She just wasn't... forthcoming. But she told me to tell you. It wasn't fair not to tell you. So you can thank her for finally getting me to admit that I was never coming home again.
Anyway, this is all shit that I'm sure you've managed to find out from your own sources. She was a whore anyway, and as you know, now I'm with Cough. But, as you also know, I can't keep my dick in my own pants for longer than about 6 months, so we're on the rocks again now too.
Love you, Butch. Talk to you next year... or whenever I'm kicked out of the house and needing a sympathetic ear to cry to.
Your Dad.
